This past Wednesday, Sexology Institute in San Antonio, Texas had a panel discussion about body image that they broadcast on Facebook. I’m borrowing, maybe stealing, their title for this post. I’ve been bumping into people in the sex-positive community that are positive about different lifestyles yet seem to think it is just for the young, or the thin, or some other restriction. I see it as finding ways for each person to feel good about any sexual desire they have as long as it is safe and anyone else involved is giving full consent. I figured if anyone would talk about it in ways that would help me get closer to a good balance, it would be the staff at Sexology Institute.
I was raised in a culture where you followed certain rules or you were shunned. My family didn’t quite follow all those rules so we were somewhat shunned, unless someone felt we could be brought into line with the rules. I have seen people on social media who treat others much this same way, and shunning is the most benign thing done to make others fit a certain way of being. I have longed for a place where I can just be me. I’m not sure if in talking or interacting online with the staff of Sexology Institute I feel free to be me, but I come closer with them and some from the sex-positive community that may promote their podcast, presentations, or blog through social media but interact with real people to form friendships.
One of the panel members was Angela, who does boudoir photography. I got up the nerve, watching what they were saying, to ask if she would do a boudoir shoot of an older person. She answered with a story about having done that and the positive results it had. The other panel member, Jasper St. James, with another question took the discussion into those whose bodies are not the norm. I think when people see a title of “body positive,” they think of accepting a heavy body. That seemed to be where the discussion started but thankfully it went into accepting all bodies.
I have said many times before on this blog and on Twitter, to be sex-positive you must be communication positive. I am convinced to be sex-positive you must be body positive as well. I often comment that good sexual health is necessary for good health. Enjoying what your body can do, no matter how it differs from some ideal, is part of being sexually healthy.