After spending a couple of days in New Mexico we are sitting at the airport in Albuquerque waiting for a delayed flight that now seems to be going to arrive between the original schedule and the estimated delay. I’m so glad I’ve never had to deal with equipment that doesn’t work, except my own equipment.
When I first sought treatment and information for ED it was that desire wasn’t happening and when we would try I just couldn’t do anything. A few days ago on Twitter I saw a tweet from Men’s Wellness Centers about erectile dissatisfaction as opposed to erectile dysfunction. I was experiencing occasional erections in the morning so I thought something was wrong but if it was low testosterone I figured it wouldn’t happen at all. If it isn’t working at al there is something else wrong, like circulatory problems. If desire is low, or fantasy doesn’t excite like it used to, it is just age. Since starting the testosterone replacement therapy I do have erections through the night and almost daily when I wake up. This morning I didn’t, but I awoke from a nightmare and so was a bit uptight even while asleep.
My function was there, just not as easily nor as often as I was accustomed to things happening. I figured with age there would be some differences, I just didn’t know what they would be. The book The Sex Bible for People Over 50 by Laurie Betito, PhD was the first place I started to find out just what some of the changes would be. My wife mentioned a few years ago that she knew she would not naturally lubricate as much as the years go by. She had read articles and had a plan to help minimize that. I had no idea what to expect for me. The book helped me learn some about me. That I’ll need more than looking at something stimulating, more than just a fantasy, I’ll need some touching and loving, just like my wife always has needed.
The tweet got me thinking about the term dissatisfaction as compared to dysfunction. I was learning this is what I’ve been experiencing. The changes Dr. Betito talked about that I wasn’t aware of being just natural aging were making me dissatisfied to the point I wasn’t giving enough time to find out if I was functional or not. I’ve done some online searches while sitting here. The oldest mention of this I found is from 2011 on AARP’s website. As I member I was thinking, “how did I miss this in the magazine?” It looks like it was not printed in the magazine, at least no publication date was on the online article. I know the date from the comments sections. So, the facts of this have been known for some time but the obsession with a quick fix pill have mainstream media and people in general wanting pills to help.
For those that need the pills, for those that are dysfunctional, go for it. For the rest of us, change dissatisfaction to satisfaction through knowledge of the adjustments needed. We can have as fulfilling, if not better since both man and woman are closer to wanting the same things to get the wonderful feelings going. It makes me wonder if gay men have been facing these same challenges as they age, or has marginalizing them cost us a good source of information to encourage straight men to be more in touch with their sensual side.