Here We Go Again

Prior to my choice to speak up for being sex-positive I would occasionally read individual posts on a few blogs, and only occasionally listen to podcasts. I find I’m spending more time listening to podcasts trying to get a feel for the people in different lifestyles that let them explore their sexuality. For example, as a straight man I don’t really understand what a gay man would go through in trying to find people to express their sexuality with. I have a few extended family members I could ask but I think that would be out of line. So I read and listen.


I hit a real gold mine of podcasts about swinging, at least as far as number of podcasts there seem to be. It may be they are getting information out there as I just listened to a short episode but in some ways it seems they are letting the world listen in on their conversations. This podcast promotes that podcast which promotes another podcast and in between the promotions there is a little bit of information about their experiences. I would rather it was shorter with only one promotion and maybe interviews instead of promotions.


I have found a real gem in podcasts that don’t necessarily have a topic. I remember when talk radio shows started and people would call in about just about any topic. It didn’t take long for the hosts to have an agenda and have people screening calls to be supporters or extreme opposition so the host could make fun of them. There may have been some that kept up the beginning ways but I soon lost track of them. These podcasts are about what ever the podcaster chooses to talk about. They may bring in people to interview but it seems like for now they are just interested in sharing points of view of what they see going on in life. This is what was good about those early talk radio shows. I’m sure there are podcasts with agendas but these interesting podcasts seem to just be promoting something along the lines of a line from the old Red Green Show, “we’re all in this together.”


They share thoughts from life, rather than thoughts from some lifestyle or political agenda. Part of our struggle right now in getting good information is too many seem to be trying to manipulate the news media. From what I’m hearing social media has fallen to manipulation in some ways as well. I’m sure podcasts can be a tool of manipulation but as long as these independent thinkers are telling us their experiences we can get a feel for what others are experiencing in life, and maybe find ways to improve our lives and those around us.


Some bad examples that are going on lately in various media. Apparently some child porn was found on one or more Tumblr blogs. Instead of trying to improve methods for detecting this they are banning all adult photos, drawings, and videos. I don’t know if the lack of dealing with the child porn alone is a financial decision or if the people at the top just don’t want to bother with it. It is much easier to ban all nudity than to keep an eye out for exploiting those that can’t speak up for themselves. At least one radio station as banned “Baby It’s Cold Outside.” Instead of using it as a way to begin talking about where it is out of line with good consent, we just ban it. As a teacher I can tell you examples of mistakes are as good of a teaching tool as modeling good behavior. Banning discussion of mistakes is counter productive. Then abstinence only sex ed. Banning factual discussion of sex means young people as they mature are not given the information they need to make informed decisions. They are never taught communication skills leading up to informed consent based on facts like some systems I’ve read about recently in Europe. In fact there seems to be an effort to ban communication.


My fear is that someone with enough money will use their influence to get government help in banning communication. If they see it as a solution in these examples I’ve cited they could easily take it to other issues. Now I come to my title, this comes up every so often as so far most democracies avoid it. Many of them believe John Dalberg-Acton’s quote, “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men…” They have kept small groups from getting too much power so the overall democracy is kept from becoming corrupt. There are pockets of corruption, but there isn’t one small group in power through corruption. I think a look at the Third Reich can show how far this corruption can go. We fight this corruption through democratic government dependent on communication.


Those YouTube channels about fly fishing, making dolls, RV travel, and the podcasts like Hugo’s Posts and We All Live on a Planet that don’t talk about the big political issues but about getting through life in a good way are all important in keeping the communication going. Recently I listened to Hugo and Patrick talk about the challenge of alcohol. Do they support banning it. No. They support helping each other understand the dangers and dealing with the problems. From the few swinger podcasts I’ve listened to I’ve learned about some of the dangers of that lifestyle, and some of the solutions.


Some of the best sources I’ve found to help me learn to communicate in my marriage have been found in non-monogamous sources. My wife and I are currently monogamous with no plans to change that, but we are learning from these other lifestyles methods to improve our communication. All our relationships, marriage, friendship, business, political, government, etc. depend on communication. That is why these bans scare me. They try to stop communication.

©2018 Michael Yocom 

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