Let’s Move Forward

About two months ago I wrote a post about Ethical Monogamy. I capitalize it as it is a certain type of monogamy. Just as to me there is a certain type of non-monogamy, called Ethical Non-Monogamy. Today I became aware of a group in Boston trying to organize a Straight Pride parade. One article that claimed to be an interview with one of the people promoting the parade just made me wonder what planet they were on.


The interview had apparently been given yesterday or this morning. A person promoting the parade said Brad Pitt was the mascot. I just saw a report that Brad Pitt as told them to quit using his name and image. To me this is an indication that they are not interested in promoting pride in being straight, but just want to get in the news and perhaps promote a message of excluding others.


It is interesting that the flag for the parade which got me thinking about this today is black and white. About fifteen years ago my wife worked with a gay man. They would often talk about how society affected his life and how his personality was affecting her. She used the statement that things were becoming more difficult since it was no longer the locked in black and white world. She said, “you don’t know who to hit on.”


Hopefully, with time we will learn better. The #meToo movement showed us that “hitting on” people can be inappropriate even in heterosexual pairings. I think our goals should be things that lead us to accepting each person as themself. If they want to live life somehow connected to one other person that also wants that connection, no matter what genders are of those involved, then if their monogamous relationship is ethical, they should be permitted and encouraged to live that life. If someone wants to live closely connected to more than one person, as long as their non-monogamy is ethical, they should be permitted and encouraged to live that life. If they want to live without sexual connections but with only social connections, as long as they are being ethical, they should be permitted and encouraged to live that life. Any other relationship you can think of would have the same ideas, as long as it is ethical, they should be permitted and encouraged to live that life.


What got me really thinking about this today was a tweet from Cooper S. Beckett. He mentioned how boring the flag the promoters of the Straight Pride parade was. I mentioned I hoped that using Ethical Monogamy in my post didn’t come across like this Straight Pride was coming across. He mentioned he felt we need Ethical Monogamy but what was being put out there for Straight Pride wasn’t a good thing. The biggest problem I found reading the interview was that it wasn’t ethical, it was trying to tear down the progress made by the Pride movement.


I think ethical means what ever is going on is consensual for all involved and as safe as possible. For example: in a business relationship if one party takes money from the other(s) involved and doesn’t deliver the promised product(s) and/or service(s) but instead goes to the Caribbean, it wasn’t consensual. I recently watched a YouTube video about a plane crash a little over ten years ago caused by the airline cutting maintenance costs. That wasn’t safe so it wasn’t ethical.


Instead of trying to further divide people and force their point of view they should be following a tweet from George Takai. I think the healing needed in society dealing with monogamy vs. non-monogamy will come from monogamists learning the ethics of Ethical Non-Monogamy and applying it to their monogamous relationships. I think the healing needed between heterosexuals and non-heterosexuals will come from straight people learning to accept people as the LGBTQ community has begun doing. I remember when they were called Gay Pride parades. A search today found about half the time they were simply referred to as Pride. A few weeks ago I watched an interview with my nephew who is president of Affirmation. He admitted learning a great deal from a board member of Affirmation about the challenges she faces as a trans woman. They are opening up to each of the different communities, now they and straights need to open up to each other.


I’m enough of a pragmatist to realize these ideals won’t come about soon, but like Martin Luther King Jr’s dream of a color blind future, that still has a long time to reach realization, I think an accepting future of people’s sexuality and how they express that sexuality can be sought after. We can become a sex positive society.

©2018 Michael Yocom 

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