That Spark

A couple of days ago Hugo Torres (@hugosposts on Twitter) mentioned the way he writes is to observe the world than a spark happens and he unloads those observations. My wife had hopes of someday being a published author. When she found out more about the process of being published back then, she gave up on submitting her novels to publishers and just enjoyed the writing. When she had been dreaming of being published I worried about some of the pressure I assumed would be part of it, taking the joy out of the writing. I knew from experience the spark Hugo talked about was strong with her at times and non-existent at other times.


Why would I be starting a post in a sex-positive blog with a reference to a spark that authors have? One thing my experiences in life have taught me is that there are connections of some kind or other between almost all we face as we try to live the happiest life we can. As I’ve tried to cope with the near 100 degree temps we’ve been having here lately, I’ve had the energy to accomplish some things that need done in the yard, but I haven’t felt the spark that makes that part of being happy. I am assuming the spark Hugo talked of is this one that has been missing in me as I cope with an uncomfortable situation. It has been affecting me getting in and writing posts as well. The high temps, the energy being spent on heavier than usual yard work, the change in testosterone levels, have all combined to make it hard to feel that spark


I remember a quote I think comes from Laurie Betito’s “The Sex Bible for People Over 50” to the effect that older people are interested in sex, it just has to take a different form. Being aware of a sexual situation will not make things happen until a spark ignites the flames. If poor blood flow, pain in joints, or other situations keep that spark from happening, then even with the interest in the situation we won’t be able to enjoy it. Because so many people let these things interfere with that spark it is assumed older folks can’t feel it.


Again, I’m back to my old refrain, to have good sexual health and activity, have good general health and activity. If you are a senior in training, as part of that training, eat a diet that works for you to keep blood flow going well and keep good activity that will keep muscles and joints usable. You don’t need to build muscle like a body builder or flexibility of a professional ballet dancer. You do need to do what is reasonable for your situation to stay mobile, keep from gaining too much weight, and find ways to keep a positive outlook on life, so when the spark comes along, it can find fuel. If you are already a senior. do what you can to keep and improve blood flow, diet and exercise to get weight at a good point and improve flexibility, and visit a quiet place from time to time to be in a state of mind clear enough to recognize the spark when it shows up. It’s not as bright as it used to be, but leads to just as enjoyable outcomes.


No matter what your age, you can improve your health. I was getting worried my wife was going to be unable to walk well before we got to where we could do some of the traveling we are hoping to do in retirement. In September of 2018 we went to Rapid City, South Dakota knowing Mount Rushmore, Custer State Park, and Badlands National Park were all nearby. My wife would set how far we could walk at each place as I could move much more easily than her. Once we were back she injured her knee so a trip to Southern California to visit our daughter and her family meant we saw the La Brea Tar Pits with her on crutches. This past spring we went to Grand Canyon and again her legs determined how much walking we could do. Yesterday we noticed some small wind had broken a branch on a tree in our yard. We have been planning on taking that tree down so it just meant some of the branches would be taken down sooner. I figured we could get the broken one down and any others she felt needed to come down while we had the equipment out. She was far more help in moving large branches than she has ever been and I was the one who said we needed to stop.


The difference from last September and this July is she has been doing some exercises. She started looking online for information to help her knee but also found some exercises to help with some problems she has been having with her feet, ankles, and lower legs. What she has found has changed things a lot just since the trip to Grand Canyon in May. We are both 63 years old, so improvement in things like muscle mass, and flexibility takes more time, but it can happen.


You will never be a twenty something again, so don’t compare yourself to that standard. Whether an older senior in training or a full fledged senior, do what it takes to be as healthy as you can be so you can enjoy life, including better sex than you had a few months ago. Keep enjoying that part of your personality, what ever your sexual desires are as long as all activity is consensual, and enjoy the feelings those sparks bring to your body.

©2018 Michael Yocom 

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